Have You Heard The News.Tinky Winky in tragic rabbit accident. A nation grieves.Officials revealed last night the news of the tragic death of Tinky Winky. During filming of the latest series of the popular television programme, "The Teletubbies", Tinky Winky tripped over a rabbit and rolled down a hillock, where he fatally broke his antennae. He was rushed to hospital but Doctors failed to get any reception. He died later that day.  Described as one of this country's greatest star, Tinky Winky - who was awarded the OBE last month for his work in the arts - rocketed to fame along with the other Teletubbies when spotted by a BBC executive on "Opportunity Knocks". Their first radio series received a luke warm welcome by the critics, but it was due to Tinky Winky's perseverance that got them there first break on the television. "The Teletubbies" was an instant hit. Soon Tinky Winky burst onto the music scene with the other 'tubbies with "Teletubbies say eh-oh", which was at number one in the British charts for nine years. A less successful follow up single was released the next year, "Noo-noo has a big hose and knows where to stick it". It was soon after the release of the single that Tinky Winky met his first wife Rosie. One half of the seafaring duo "Rosie and Jim", it was well known that Jim blamed Tinky Winky for the break up of the act. Then the history of popular music was changed forever when Tinky Winky launched his hugely successful solo career. There were fears that he would not be able to make the charts without the other 'tubbies, but the critics were soon silenced when his first solo album, "All about Winky", went straight in at number one. This was followed by a string of number one hits, and a successful series of big budget Hollywood films. During this time Tinky Winky and Rosie, due to pressures of work, grew apart. Tinky began to gain a reputation as a philanderer with alleged affairs with Courtney Cox, Claudia Schiffer, and there were unconfirmed rumours of a romance with Sue Bear co-star of "The Sooty Show". Rumours of an illegitimate glove child have been fiercely denied by Tinky. Also at this time, controversy when Tinky was caught in his Los Angeles hotel room with 50 grams of cocaine. The case never went to trial when the charges were unexpectedly dropped by L.A.P.D. Having achieved world-wide fame, and controlling an estate estimated to be worth 120 million dollars Tinky Winky decided it was time to settle down. A period he described in his autobiography, "Tinky. A life in showbiz.". "It was a crazy period of my life. The drugs and rock and roll where destroying my life, and it seemed I spent every night at another Hollywood party with a different woman. Then one evening at a bash Jack Nicholson was throwing at his beach house I met Laa-Laa. I hadn't seen any of the original 'tubbies cast since we finished filming the seventh series. We got talking about old times and I realised I had forgotten my roots and where I came from." Tinky Winky and Laa-Laa were married two months later, and were blessed with two children, "Wipsey Woo", and "Tra-la-la-lah Ding Dong". Together, Tinky and Laa-laa decided to reform the original cast of the Teletubbies. Fortunately the west end run of Po's musical, "Over the hills and far away", which he wrote, directed and starred in himself was coming to an end. Dipsey and Noo-noo were having less success as a comedy double act on the club circuit. There was a warm welcome to the return of the series, which many believe to be their best yet. Crowds of mourners camped outside the Winky estate last night, with children laying wreaths at the gates. The crowd openly weeped, and total strangers consoled each other in the streets outside. As we go to print there have been rumours of a tribute song being performed by the remaining 'tubbies at the funeral later this week. Since the accident the stars of stage and screen have been expressing their grief. Matthew Kelly host of "Stars in their eyes" said last night. "It is a terrible tragedy. I am constantly playing Tinky's records at home. We are planning a Stars in their eyes special as a tasteful tribute to be screened later this year." Hollywood star Tom Cruise announced, "I will be starring in a film of Tinky's life playing the legend himself. A project Tinky and I have been working on together for some time. We hope to release it in time for Christmas." My cab driver on the way to work this morning made this sensational claim. "Well it's a conspiracy init. That rabbit was a professional hit-rabbit sent by the Mafia. Obvious. It's a conspiracy init." Television presenter and alleged scouser Cilla Black told us: "I remember when we did our duet together at the Royal Variety Performance. He was such a professional, and a lovely warm personality too. Fellow teletubby Dipsey released the following statement. "I will always remember Tinky as a joker. I remember when we were filming the final scene, we had all said goodbye and hidden, then all of a sudden Tinky would jump up and shout "Boo!". Oh how we laughed." Prime Minister, Tony Blair has announced plans for a minute silence, to be held at 11:30 tomorrow morning. Full story on pages 2, 3, 5-7, 19-21. Outrage. William Spooner in Friar Tuck incident. Continued page 8.
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