Navel Fluff A couple of years ago as I was lying in the bath I began to wonder about the infinite uses of navel fluff. So from that day on I decided to keep all the fluff from my belly button. My navel fluff collection now takes up three twelve story office blocks in South Wales. Here are some uses for navel fluff. 1. Use it to stuff your pillows at home. 2. Shove it in your lug 'oles and use as ear plugs. 3. Glue it to your face. Hey presto instant beard. 4. Use it to make the worlds first navel fluff aeroplane. 5. Smoke it. 6. Number it. For no reason, just number it. 7. Use it to knit a pullover. 8. Gather together all the navel fluff in the world and use it to plug the hole in the Ozone layer. 9. Make some furry dice, a stylish accessory to every car. 10. Use it to soak up oil spills. 11. Set up a wig business. 12. Use it as a cheap fuel alternative, e.g. the first fluff powered car. 13. Clean your windows with it. 14. Floss your teeth with it. 15. Tell your friends you’ve bought a fleece jacket when in reality... 16. Ask it if it feels good about being fluff. 17. Photograph it for a fluff calendar. 18. Set up a dating agency for lonely fluff. 19. Put your naval fluff in your pocket, and your pocket fluff in your naval as part of a cultural exchange. 20. Re-carpet your house. 21. Give it to a dog to play with, dogs are stupid like that. 22. Make sheep warmers for sheared sheep. 23. Eat it as a cabbage substitute - well it couldn’t taste any worse. 24. Make a fluff collage. 25. Set up a museum exhibition - “Fluff Through The Ages”. 26. Make a piece of modern art, then sell it to some gullible rich guy. 27. Get it valuated on the Antiques Roadshow. 28. Shove it up your nose, put a pair of underpants on your head and say “wibble”. 29. Pretend you’re a cat by swallowing it then hacking it up again later. 30. Use it instead of astro-turf so your don’t cut your leg open every time you fall over. 31. Use it instead of grass, saves you mowing the lawn. 32. Be the manager of the first all fluff rock band.
Do you have any suggestion of what I can do with my collection of navel fluff. If you do send them to me here. The best ones will appear on this page. There are no prizes I'm afraid, we're just playing for smugness. The following people are very smug.
33. Use it as Loft Insulation. (- Gary "Don't call me Gareth" McGee)
34. Compile a list of what you can use fluff for. 35. A bookmark. 36. A toy. It would keep a child or those with a child like mind, amused/eternally grateful for minutes if not seconds. 37. Draught excluder. (- Chris Bailey)
38. Use balls of fluff to play marbles with. 39. Fill up all the sections of an empty chocolate box and give it to a loved one. 40. Paint up clumps to look like your favourite t.v. stars and act out your own episodes. 41. See what happens if you cross breed some with a hamster. 42. See what happens if you cross breed some with an elephant. 43. Make little figures so so can have some friends. 44. Keep some in your shoes - just because. 45. Break into the vodaphone shop and replace all the circuits in the mobiles with fluff. 46. Throw it away. [NEVER! - SB] 47. Keep some on your tounge for that “just woken up and hung over” feeling all day long. 48. Soak it in vodka and keep it in your pocket. When ever you need a quick “pick me up” just pull it out and give it a suck. - (Tom and Kathy)
49. Use it to create a fluff based evil monster, and then go raid and plunder nearby small vilages. 50. Or in the summer when there's no snow....You could make a fluff man. 51. You could smuggle your fluff into Bogata Columbia, and trade it on the black market. 52. You could use a bit of fluff to repair the holes in your fuzzy slippers. 53. You could fill a pinyata with fluff, and break it open on your birthday. 54. You could pit your fluff against the fluff of others in an internet role playing game. - (Nicole)
55. Use it as the inspiration for best-selling novel, Fluff Fiction. - (Allan Lear)
56. Take photos of it and create the first ever fluff model. 57. Dress it up as a celebrity, get it to do something really silly then blackmail the celebrity. 58. Take it to a fluff party, and make sure its on the vip list. - (Mark Steen)
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